haha I spent ALLLLL day with brandon today <3 i love being around him. its so weird. im not used to it hoenstly. I am horrible when it comes to relationships but i think this one will last a while. Im really excited about it all! and i cant wait till prom! ITS GOING TO BE AWESOME!!!! well i gtg. nightttt <3
AH! life is just grand =] haha. SO I am with a guy named brandon. such a cutie! I have had a crush on him since I have met him but he had a girlfriend. Well they broke up and well.. now we are together! IM SO HAPPY! I spent about 4 and a half hours with him after school yesterday. That had to of been one of the best days of my life! THEN as a surprise =] he rode his bike to my house today just to say hi. Though he could only stay a few minutes cause he has work at 3:45. teheh. Im just so happy. Now i just need to bring up my grades and im set!
Im to the point Im tired of being sad. Theres no point. Yeah my life sucks at this point in time. But i can take this time to better myself and get into healthy habbits. which i plan to start tomorrow lol. but if i take crae of myself then i can get someone who can rightfully take care of me. I dont want a bf, i want to be friends first and if it builds to more, it becomes more. I wont settle for someone I dont like. I like ben, and i wanna see him, but im ok. He has a lot to worry about at the moment, and I understand. For once lol. Im happy I guess you could say. Im stressed beyond belief, but i have a crazy weekend coming up. heck yes. lol. well im gonna go. tata.
Im freaking out, im stressed, im upset and crying. I am sick and tired of everything. I hate my parents. I have never met any one person who can make me feel as shitty as they can. They make me feel like im stupid, and I wont amount to anything. That there is no point in trying because Im not going to go anywhere in life. I havent seen or talked to ben in 3 days, the only guys interested in me, I want nothing to do with. I dont care about that, I just wish they would fucking leave me alone. I realized everyone I thought was my friend and I sit with a lunch, I cant stand. I have nothing in common with them, i dislike them very much. I hate working. Its not fun. I dont like majority of the people I work with. Its like a fucking soap opera. The only people I loved to go to work and see, dont work there anymore. Life is just so screwed up. I have 4 major projects due with in the next 2 weeks. My self image is that of zero. Tomorrow, i will start eating healthier, I will be a better person, i will begin putting faces on for those around me and I am going to stop opening myself up to people. Except for the ones I really care about. ie razzi and ben. who ben i dont talk to, but i trust razzi so much. Hes a good person. Nothing is going right. I ask for help, and everything just gets worse. What am I supposed to do. The questions retorical. later.
